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Being GOOD vs. Being NICE

“Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living.”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

As I was sitting at a café on Saturday morning, psyching myself up for another day of writing a chapter in my book, I glanced at the daily paper. I do not spend too much time with newspapers these days as it is often filled with irrelevant negativity and I am prefer to get my news elsewhere. However, whilst sipping a cup of my favourite chamomile tea I came across an article interviewing a famous model.

She was quoted as saying “There’s a difference between being nice and good, I consider myself a good person. And I think people perceive me to be nice as in, ‘Oh, she’s nice,’ but being a good person, knowing your strengths and working towards those strengths, and encouraging those around you to do the same, that’s a good person. A nice person will sit back and go, ‘Oh yes, OK, no worries, yes.’ A nice person is a yes person, whereas a good person is a person who accepts their responsibility in things and moves forward. He or she constantly evolve and isn’t afraid to say no, challenge someone or be honest.”

Most people would expect such profound words from a model, but indeed her thoughts are backed by scientific research. The Psychology Foundation of Canada reports that one important aspect of your personal self-esteem is feeling that you have a “voice” ─ that you have the right to be listened to and heard in a way that helps you have some control over what happens in your life. When you speak up and stand up for yourself, you are, in effect, saying to yourself and the world, “I am a significant person whose ideas and words are worthy of respect.”

So you can be nice, but also be good – be good to your authentic self.

On Tuesday the 20th of August, we had our first ever live, online Energesse Masterclass on Discovering your Higher Purpose. Both Julian Noel, Higher Purpose consultant and I spoke about living your life’s purpose. We had an amazing turn out from around the world and if you would like to see it again, click here.

About the Author: Dr Avnesh Ratnanesan

Dr Avi is a medical doctor with broad healthcare sector experience including hospitals, biotech, pharmaceuticals and the wellness industry. He is a leading expert who coaches and consults to senior executives, entrepreneurs, practitioners, organisations and governments.